Is There a Link Between Borderline Personality and Violence?

Is There a Link Between Borderline Personality and Violence?
By Kristalyn Salters-Pedneault, PhD, About.com Guide
Created: February 02, 2009

Question: Is There a Link Between Borderline Personality and Violence?
I am in a relationship with a man who has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. He is an incredible person, but when he is in a “dark mood,” things can get really bad. He gets so angry it is scary; he throws things and has even threatened to hurt me. He hasn’t ever laid a hand on me, but he seems so out of control that I fear for my safety. Are people with BPD more prone to be violent?

Answer:
Yes, there is research demonstrating that both men and women who have committed violent acts have elevated rates of borderline personality disorder (BPD) compared to the general population. However, it is important to recognize that this does not mean that all people who have BPD are violent; just that the diagnosis is associated with an increased risk of violence. Impulsive behavior, which includes physical aggression, is one of the diagnostic criteria for BPD (although someone can meet criteria for the disorder without demonstrating this symptom).

There are several reasons why people with BPD are more likely to be violent in their relationships. First, people with BPD have often (although not always) been victims of violence themselves (e.g., child abuse). So, many people with BPD may have learned to use aggression to deal with strong emotions because adults modeled that behavior for them when they were young.

In addition, people with BPD often experience an unstable sense of self and difficulty trusting others in interpersonal relationships. They may experience very strong emotions if they believe they are being rejected or abandoned (this is known as rejection sensitivity), which in turn may lead to aggressive behaviors.

Finally, people with BPD often have difficulties with impulsivity; when they are experience the strong emotions that are typical of the disorder, they may do things without thinking about the consequences. If they engage in violence, it is usually not planned; it is an impulsive act in the heat of the moment.

That said, this general information does not help us to predict whether one particular individual with BPD will be violent. If you are feeling threatened, that is important; even if no violence has occurred in your relationship, something is not right. Your best bet is for both you and your partner to seek professional help—- either separately or as a couple. This may help you figure out whether the relationship can be improved, and may prevent violence from happening in the future. Therapy can also help you decide whether this is a relationship worth working on.

Sources:

Stuart GL, Moore TM, Gordon KC, Ramsey SE, Kahler CW. “Psychopathology in Women Arrested for Domestic Violence.” Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 21: 376-389, 2006.

Holtzworth-Munroe A, Stuart GL. “Typologies of Male Batterers: Three Subtypes and the Differences Among Them.” Psychological Bulletin, 116: 476-497, 1994.